full moon party
2003-10-10, 8:45 a.m.

Oh thank God it's Friday! On top of that, it's pay day. But damn I'm proud of myself. I really made my money last. I took my lunch almost everyday, I didn't eat out, and just really watched my pennies and it worked! I still have $28.00 left!

Last night MyLove and I discussed our options come the end of the month. I've told her that I need her out of the situation she is in of living with TheExFromHell by the end of the month. So that leaves three options. One is she can move in with me and my roommates. Two, she can move into her own apartment, or three, she and I can move into someplace together.

The problem with option one is that I'm really afraid she can't handle living with my roommates. As MyLove has said, "seekingme, you're the most patient person in the world, and roommatewoman gets on YOUR nearves." So how can we expect that her and MyLove can manage it? But living there would allow she and I to really save a lot of money and be able to buy a house, have a committment ceremony, and start our family in the next year.

Option number two is not good because right now MyLove is financially strapped. Yes, she makes a lot of money, but she has committed herself to paying for her neice's private school education, plus her other bills, and she says it's just not feasible for her to move again and what not. Personally, I think she can handle it. She could get a one bedroom for a reasonable rent and it would be fine.

Third option is not good because I promised my roommates that I would not move out on them right away. The whole reason they moved in with me was to save money, so if I move out that defeats the purpose. So I can't do that to them.

In my opinion their are only two options. Either Mylove moves in with me, or she stays with TheExFromHell awhile longer. Obviously I'm going to have a BIG problem with her staying with the ex. I can't handle it now...I know that in a month or two I'd be a basket case. So what is the answer? Sounds like a no win situation. But I have faith that if there's a will there's a way.

But if it does come down to her staying with the ex longer, I've already told her that I'll need to speak to TheExFromHell myself to be SURE that she knows the reasons behind that decision. That may suck, but I can't help it. I need to know that MyLove is not letting TheExFromHell have hope that there is something there with them. If she refuses to do what I ask, then I'm going to have to reevaluate a lot of things.

I'd been really down about all thise for a week or so now, but I feel better that we finally talked and both know where the other is coming from. Now, I can go about my business and just enjoy life. I need to stop analyzing things to death!

Tonight I'm excited cause I'm going to a Full Moon party. Sounds like a lot of fun. Bon fire, lesbians, fun, games, antics!

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