go figure
2003-10-15, 8:42 a.m.

Yesterday I finally decided to say fuck it to my guilt and call and ask my ex to help me with some bills. I'm tired of paying off the $12,000.00 worth of loans that he talked me into borrowing against my retirement while he got to keep the computer, and the digital camera and whatever else we bought with the money. Just because I left him, does not mean he shouldn't have to help me out. So today I go over and pick up $400.00 from him. Not much really, but better than nothing.

Recently he told me that he's still in love with me and that is why he can't move on. I feel bad, but what can I do? What does he expect me to do?

Most of all though, I feel bad because I don't feel the same way about him. I don't feel sad and I don't miss him. I know that my leaving was the right decision. I just hope someday he can see it too.

This morning a rather nice looking man in a BMW smiled at me on the way to work. Then when I was walking into the building another guy totally checked me out. And yesterday, a really creepy guy came into work and was staring at me the whole time he was there. What is up with that??? Not to say it isn't flattering, but I'm not into men anymore. When I was, they never gave me a second glance....go figure.

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