I missed her, but had a great weekend anyway
2003-10-20, 9:16 a.m.

I had a great, great, weekend. The only down part was that I didn't get to see MyLove. But the rest of it was great.

Friday I went with my friend DJ and her straight friend to the lesbian bar. They had a King of King's contest and it was great fun. The Long Island Iced Tea I had was much fun too! DJ ended up meeting this chick who basically jumped on her on the dance floor.

Saturday, after napping most of the day I went to a bonfire at cuteworkgirl's house. See there's been this woman that comes into my work daily as a messenger/courier and I wasn't sure if she was gay, but I was pretty sure. Turns out she is and she has a girlfriend of five years. So anyway she invited MyLove and I to a bonfire on Saturday at their place. Unfortunately MyLove couldn't go because of her work schedule. But I went and I had a GREAT time. I finally feel like I'm making some honest to goodness friends! It's really no easy task to make friends as an adult. But I have. Yeah Me!

As I said, I had a great time. MyLove was a bit pissy because I wasn't hanging around the house all weekend like usual. But oh well. She said she feels like some of the things I say and do make her think that I'm out looking for someone to replace her. But that's not true. What I told her is that I love her and right now I only want to be with her. But, I'm not going to stop living my life. The fact is, she lives with TheExFromHell and I'm not going to sit at home and be miserable about it.

It kind of pisses me off because the week that I did sit at home and mope MyLove was angry cause I was angry at her. But then I decide not to sit at home and mope and now she's pissy about that. I don't get it. But whatever.

I have no plans on meeting anyone else for romantic purposes. I have told all the friends I've made what my situation is and that I'm head over heels in love with MyLove. But, I can't guarantee how long I'll be willing to wait. It still drives me absolutely bonkers that she lives with her ex, and I know that the ex still loves her and wants her...so I have to deal with that crap on a daily basis. So if going out and meeting new people helps me to deal with that...then so fucking be it. That's what I'm going to do.

I love MyLove, I truly do, but I'm not going to sit at home and wait for her to get her shit together and get her ass out of her ex's house. And if I meet someone along the way that sparks fly with, and who's good to me, and who's a healthy person, and who doesn't live with their ex, hey I can't say I wouldn't go for it. But I would tell MyLove first. And that's what I've told her. That's all I can do....I don't know how she could possibly expect any more than that. But then again she seems to have her own way of looking at things sometimes.

Right now, I miss her...but I had a great weekend anyway.

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