clearing the air
2004-10-28, 8:29 a.m.

I'm here. I don't want to be, but I am. I feel like crap.

Eagle and I fought all day and all night yesterday. Finally I said to her, "do you even know why I'm mad?" She didn't say anything, so I listed all the reasons and they just kept coming and coming. Finally I was done and she says, "you didn't have to say all that, I knew why you were mad." Then why the fuck didn't you say anything??? That is the kind of shit that drives me insane!

She went out for a couple of hours and the roommates took the opportunity to talk to me about Eagle. Eagle has been really riding them both and they wanted to know what they'd done. They said they feel like everything is fine one minute and the next she's pissed. I told them that's just the way she is, and do they feel my pain? It was kind of nice to talk to them about it, because it validates me. It makes me realize and keep in perspective that it's not me. Eagle is difficult to live with, she's moody, she's demanding, she's irrational, and sometimes she makes no sense at all. It's nice to know that it's not just me that sees it.

So anyway, we talked, and I told her she needs to apologize and she needs to get a grip on the issues I brought up because I'm sick of it. She still has not apologized, but at some point in the evening we just dropped a lot of the hostility and watched Ellen's stand up comedy. Not sure what's going to happen tonight, hopefully she'll get her shit together.

Now I'd better get some work done.

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