Bland Rendition
2004-11-09, 8:48 a.m.

Eagle and I had a nice evening last night. We ate dinner, cuddled on the loveseat, watched t.v., talked, and laughed. It's really nice to have our home back to just ourselves.

I'm doing pretty well in all aspects. Money is still tight though, but it's getting better. Hopefully by December we'll be caught up and it won't be so tight. We've already got most of our shopping done and we agreed not to buy each other anything until after Christmas. We're going to go buy a joint present for both of us after Christmas. Most likely it'll be a color photo printer for the computer. And maybe some framed and matted prints for the bedroom walls.

I'm pretty happy lately. I wonder sometimes what is going to become of me, but I try not to focus on that. I mean right now, things are great. But what happens if Eagle fucks up again? What happens if I have to move out again? That thought just panics me, but I try not think about it. Why should I? This is supposed to be a forever thing with her and I. Is there no such thing as forever for me? I thought my ex-husband was forever; then I thought MyEx was forever; so I guess it's only natural that I'd be fearful that this is not really forever.

I find that I'm not looking for anyone else anymore. When I was with MyEx I was always scoping the personal ads, and keeping my options open. But with Eagle, I don't have any desire to find anyone else. I've stopped looking. I guess that's a good thing huh?

I do wonder how MyEx is doing coping with the loss of her brother. But I won't call. She asked me not to and I'll respect that. I do think of her and I hope that she is okay. I swear it seems that given the day I either hate her, love her, miss her, get angry at her; it really changes daily. Wonder when that will even out. Ever?

I broke down and made an appointment with the doctor for my aches and pains. I swear that every joint in my body is sore, but especially my thumbs and knees. This really sucks.

Not feeling creative this morning, so I'll end this bland rendition of my life now. You're welcome.

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