Eagle's mood, and our loan
2004-11-30, 8:49 a.m.

Okay last night was tense. Eagle was in a MOOD, and whats worse is, she didn't think she was in a mood at all. Yet, she was sullen, snippy, and frowning all night. Finally after much prodding I got what I think was bother her out. She said that she feels like she gets up everyday, does her chores around the house, then I come home, and we veg in front of the t.v., and then go back to bed. She said she feels like she's missing a big chunk out of her day. I said she is, she needs some socialization. That would happen if she could get and KEEP a job. No, I didn't say that to her because she basically said that to me. She has started actually looking for a job again, and hopefully she'll find something soon.

I explained to her that she knows that Mondays are hard on me. All I ask is for one day that we can just veg when I get home. Tonight we don't have plans but Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we do, so last night and tonight are the only nights I have to just chill at home after work. She said she understood and didn't blame me at all. She said it is her own damn fault that she gets bored and lonely all day at home. I told her I can't even identify with it, I've NEVER had that opportunity. I've worked since I was 15 and never had a gap more than two weeks of unemployment. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to get up when you want, do what you want all day, and then have the gall to actually complain to the one that is bringing the paycheck home that you don't have anything to do all day. It really would be nice to find out how that feels. But I'm not going to give up my job.

Eagle's parents are going to loan us some money to help us out of the financial rut we're in. We are supposed to have dinner with them on Wednesday and I imagine we'll be discussing the details at that time. I'm thankful, but it's got me nervous to think about sitting across from them dicussing our finances. Actually MY finances since Eagle brings in no income at this time. However, her parents said it is mandatory that she get a job for them to give us this loan.

I'm finally starting to lose my battle with this cold I've been fighting. I've already sneezed three times in the past five minutes, my nose is stuffed up, and my eyes are watery....not good.

Well I'd better get to work and get some kleenex!

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