My sweet Eagle
2006-12-06, 10:04 a.m.

Eagle got up this morning and made me breakfast. How sweet is that? I do love her something fierce. She did the Christmas cards again this year. I never did cards in my life, but so far every year she does them for us. She really does keep our life in order as long as she's clean and sober. She's a pretty great catch. I'm proud of the long way that she has come. It's hard to believe she has changed so much. But she has and she's happy and she sings and giggles and does the penguin dance (don't ask) all time time. She's very silly and giddy a lot. I love to look over at her and see her smiling because for so many years she did not smile. Before she always waited for the day that she would die and be out of her misery. But now she is actually enjoying and participating in life.

Now the only thing I wish is that she and I could connect better on a sexual basis. Don't get me wrong, when we do have sex we connect great, but we just don't have it much. Though we did have it recently and it was great. It just seems that ALL of my relationships were either great at the friendship part but not so much at sex. Or had lots of sex, but no friendship. Can't it be both for once?

The past few nights I've been waking up a lot. Therefore, I'm so tired in the morning and all day long it's terrible. Last night when I got home I was so tired I wanted to go to bed right away. Finally we went to bed at 9:30 and I was out within 20 minutes. But of course I woke up several times through the night. Luckily, I can fall back to sleep each time within a minute or so, but still it breaks up my sleep and I'm tired. I'll be glad when my sleep clinic appointment comes on the 19th of this month. Though I don't want to have to sleep with a mask on, if it gives me better sleep and more energy, I'll do it. After all Rosie has one!

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