No time limits
2004-12-14, 9:01 a.m.

One more week to go folks. Just one more week till my vacation. The boss bitch tried to find something to bitch at me about yesterday. Luckily, I've learned my lesson when so now I have answers and logistics for anything she throws at me.

So yesterday, after telling me just how much she wants to get better, start being more responsible, etc, etc, etc....Eagle slept all day. She missed a very important appointment in the process. I wasn't angry with her, but I told her she needs to stop that. So then she said she'd start getting up with me every morning. But of course she amended that this morning. Now it's 10:00 that she wants to get up by. The hardest part is, that as soon as I get forceful about it, she'll get her hackels up and get defensive. So I just have to let her make up her own mind and do whatever it is she's going to do. Otherwise, it just won't work. Besides I don't believe that I should have to be her mother. She's 33 years old and she knows what she needs to do. If she doesn't do it, thats on her.

I read a lot of my archive entries yesterday. One thing I noticed is that, during the time with myexlove I was always giving deadlines and time limits about when I'd break up with her. With Eagle I don't do that. Yeah I bitch about her in here often, but I don't put deadlines on when I'll give up. I think that's a healthy sign. I think despite the fact that Eagle has some addiction issues and a lack of responsibility; this is one of the healthiest relationships I've had. I just wish she could get a grip on her issues and move forward. Right now it sees she takes one step forward and two steps back. It's frustrating.

Most of all it's frustrating to see this beautiful, smart, funny person wasting her potential. She could be so many things, yet she is consumed by her addictions. I hope that some day she can be free of them...and free to enjoy life outside of the house, and outside of her pain.

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