No disability
2004-12-15, 8:55 a.m.

I'm tired. Last night was a challenge. Eagle was in a feeling sorry for herself in a bad way, mood. She's wishing that she had followed through on her disability claim that she was denied. She said she doesn't understand why me and her family think she can work because she can't control her moods and she can't work. She tried to get mean, but I ignored her. I did not let her bait me. It was not easy. I had to do a lot of deep breathing, but by the time we went to bed, she apologized. We talked and she admitted that she's scared. I think she felt better after we were able to talk about it. I hope so at least.

We get our new t.v. delivered today. Yeah!! I can't wait. We've been using this crappy little 19" since our 27" went on the fritz. Wow what a difference. I have to wear my damn glasses to watch it.

I'm feeling very tired today. I got enough sleep, but it just feel drained. I have a sore throat and swollen glands, but I swear I've had these symptoms for weeks now and nothing seems to change. Ugh.

I really hope Eagle doesn't decide to go with disability. She has so much more in her then that. I can't imagine sitting at home day after day after day. It would drive me insane! Besides I hoped that some day she'd have a career of some type. That we'd be a two income family and be sort of "normal." But whatever works out for the best is fine. I'll support whatever decision she makes. But I won't let her roll over and play dead. She has got to do something to keep her mind alive.

Now I'd better get my mind on my work.

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