Is it over yet?
2002-12-17, 3:30 p.m.

Last night was a bad night. I cried a lot. I�m not really sure why I was crying, I think it was more of a release of tensions and stress than sadness. I did have moments of panic wondering what I�ve made of my life.

I missed MyLove a lot more than I ever thought that I would too. I was also disturbed to hear that she was staying at TheEXfromHELL�s and seemed non-committal about going to her hotel room. A part of me wonders if she ever planned to go to a hotel. I wonder why she would feel the need to lie to me about her accomodations.

I could live with the fact that she slept with TheEXfromHELL if she does, but just so long as she comes back to me and gives our relationship her focus from now on.

It�s 5:30 in the morning there now and I so want to talk to her that it takes all my effort not to call because I don�t want to wake her up. She said she would call me today at work, now it is a waiting game until she actually does call.

In the meantime, I�m going to try and focus on doing some work and digging out of this hole I�ve created due to my lack of focus. Oh Thursday night please hurry and get here already!

LATER

The day is going pretty well so far, it�s been busy and lots of stuff going on to keep me distracted, which is good. I haven�t gotten to speak to MyLove yet today and my anxiousness levels are building with each passing minute. I know that I will feel better after I speak with her, but it�s the in between times that are a killer.

I�m very glad that my counseling appointment is in a few hours...boy do I need it.

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