Cast of Characters
2004-04-03, 11:50 a.m.

I guess it's time for a Cast page huh? Okay, here goes:

Seekingme: Author of this blog. 34 years old, government worker, single, lesbian, and for more info check out the Bio Section

MyExLove (Previously known as MyLove): Let's see. MyLove was the love of my life. She and I were best friends when I was 16 and she was 19. Then, I chose a guy over her and she was hurt badly. I didn't realize this at the time however. Anyway, we parted when she went into the Army. Somwhere a long the line we both realized our love and attraction for each other. Sixteen years later, we became a couple at last. But not without our ups and downs. MyexLove is a very strong, independant, stubborn, and hard working woman. She has been through a lot in her life and never let it hold her back. Unfortunately, she and I realized that we are too different to be anything more than friends. We broke up in April 2004 for good and we are now trying to be friends.

Eagle: She and I became friends in August 2003. We spent the Great Black Out together and she let me cry on her shoulder for four days after MyExLove broke my heart again. I immediately had a connection and an attraction to her, but I feared her. I feared the fact that she has some addiction issues, a personality disorder, and was unemployed. However, as I got to know her, I realized what a survivor she is. I've grown to admire her strength and tenacity. After MyexLove and I broke up for the last time, I decided to stop resisting the feelings I had for Eagle. After a rocky start, we are still together and doing well. She seems to have made getting her addictions under control a priority. She also is now employed. She treats me better than any one ever has. I feel pampered, loved, and adored. I still have fears of her relapsing, but I cannot let those fears control me. I have faith in her and hope to build a loving, happy life with her.

Step-Sister M: Although SSM is my step sister, she is as close to a real sister as I could ever hope for. She is 7 years younger than I, but we get along great. Sometimes I want to shake her though because she has so many great things going for her, but she just refuses to take risks. She quit HS in the 10th grade. She really needs to get her GED or diploma because she is a very intelligent person who could go very far. She needs to get her driver's license and a car and then I could see her doing wonders. I think she'd make a great nurse or even nurse's assistant. But regardless of what she chooses, I'll always support her. I love her dearly and I thank God for the sister I always wanted.

Step-Sister S: SSS, is a few years older than I. We haven't really gotten to know each other much because we've never really hung out, and she did not live with us when our parents were married. But lately we've been spending more time together and I am glad for that. I think she has some issues, but who doesn't?

Other Step-Siblings: I have two other step sisters and a step brother, but I have little to no interaction with them.

Step-Dad: My mom and step-dad met when I was 15, married when I was 18 and and he's a good guy. However he is an alcoholic and a gambler. He needs a woman in his life to keep him on the straight and narrow. My mother was the love of his life. She kept him honest and productive; and he taught her how to not be such a pushover. I think, had she lived, they would have had a wonderful retirement together. He took her death extremely hard, and I think he really wishes he could trade places with her.

Mom: Well I can't really go into full detail about how I feel about my mom because it would turn into a novel. But lets just say that she was my hero. I try to embody her every day. Yes, she was somewhat a push over, but she had her limits and knew how to stick to them. People say that I am a lot like her and I take that as a HUGE compliment. I strive to be like her. She was the most loving, accepting, non-judgmental, caring person I have ever known. Why she had to die at 59 of multiple sclerosis, at what was set to be the peak of her life, I'll never know. I so wish that I had the opportunity to get to know her as an adult, but that will never happen. Instead I try to live my life in a way to make her as proud of me as I can.

Grandma and Grandpa: I don't talk much about my only surviving grandparents (my mother's mother and step-father). But I do see them several times a month and try to do for them what I feel my mother would have done. However, my grandmother is perpectually depressed and it is hard sometimes for me to see that. There is nothing anyone can do for her. Grandpa is losing his mind slowly and becoming quite cantankerous. I do what I can for them.

Friend A: A is probably my best friend. She and I met 8 years ago when we were both in the swinging lifestyle. However, she was not bi so our relationship was (mostly) platonic. It is now 100% platonic. I love her like a sister. She is a very strong woman with strong opinions, and loyal to a fault. Her husband is M and he�s a grouchy kind of guy with a soft heart. They�ve been married for over 20 years, with three kids that I love and who call me Aunt.

Friend L: L and I met about a year ago, when MyLove and I were having problems. I met her on the Internet. I think she�s adorable. And when I first met her I thought maybe we�d be more than friends. But we clicked so well as friends that I think neither of us wanted to ruin that. So despite us both being single at different times, our friendship has always remained platonic. Which is a remarkable feat it seems with lesbians!

TheExFromHell: A year ago this bio of the ExFromHell would have been much longer and hate-filled. But somewhere a long the way I let the anger and fear go. This is a good thing. In a nutshell, she and MyexLove had a twisted relationship for about 7 years. One where they got together a few times a week, and the rest of the time MyexLove did what she wanted and TheExFromHell, kept everyone in her life in the dark as to their true feelings. From what I gather MyexLove wanted to move to the next level on different occassions but was rebuffed with excuses about not exposing TheExFromHell�s daughter to homosexuality. Then one day the ExFromHell packed up and moved to another state. I think this hit MyexLove pretty hard, though she won�t admit it. Then when MyexLove found me...suddenly TheExFromHell wanted her back. Suddenly she was telling MyexLove all the things that she always wanted to hear. This put MyexLove in an awkward position. Granted MyexLove did not make the wisest choices. And in fact led me on for a year before TheExFromHell moved back to Michigan to be with her. I was then dumped very coldly and they moved in together. A few weeks into it and MyexLove realized that TheExFromHell was not the person she wanted to spend her life with. So she set out to get me back. Which she did. They continued to live under the same roof for almost a year while MyExLove and I continued our relationship. Some people say I was crazy to trust that they were not a couple. But I did trust it until I could take it no more. Then in April 2004, after having given many ultimatums for MyExLove to move out of apartment she shared with THeExFromHell, I broke up with her. In the back of my mind I kind of hoped that MyExLove had told me the truth about her and TheExFromHell and that she would go ahead and move out. But instead she took TheExFromHell on a trip to Cancun. So therin was my answer about the true nature of their relationship. Live and learn I always say.

Well that�s about it for the cast at this time.

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